December, 2007

(archives)

minor family drama

– brianprince

~my sister’s eating paint chips again, maybe
that’s why she’s insane. i shut the door to her
moaning, and i shoot smack in my veins.
wouldn’t you?~

i can’t engrave words with my pen
that go deeper than your knife on skin.
there’s nothing i can do now to ease this
except join you somehow in metaphysics.
and be there when your pain can’t be
explained. i know it’s too much to bare.

your knife shows a stream of grape juice
tracings. you’re only sixteen years old!
but let me show you someone who is aged.
cut me! and i’ll stream 1991 BV Merlot.
step back from that knife my friend.
because this life is just beginning.

our emotions have proved to be
dangerous. and even though we’re both
cancers. neither of us are dead.
that. alone. is a lot to be said.
we’ll prevail. i know it. we’ll make it
through any weather. in two years
you’ll have the choice to exile. say bye
bye to the life you know. mom wont
make you cry. when you go.

It’s a no-good excuse in my book.
when you say, “im used to it.”
“i dont like the way she doesn’t understand me,
i like staying up late and waking up early.”
but it’s mom, see. you know who you are.
dieci séis años. in the making. this minor family
drama. the psyche of this girl is breaking.

“she just punishes me for basically everything i do.”
listen girl, that’s living life. we just have to get through.
blows from the left. socks to the right. blood flying
from knives. just isn’t right. “but, i need to wash my cuts.”
It’s a no-good excuse in my book.

cut vegetables. and the loaf of bread. set the table.
knife on the left just like she said. next to the spoon.
you know what you have to do. wash your retainer
before bed. be blameless in the things you do.
don’t talk back. don’t look sad. just set the silverware.

she’s over-protective like gravy on turkey. but
youre stronger than this. as you have confirmed.
we’re all dry. we all need a push. i promise dear
friend. we will get through this. with no prescription
for this hurt. i know pain’s worth. but im no M.D.
however, you are (: doctor dyi wul ski. 🙂

“but she’s just being a hypocrite.” well, just
continue to listen to your music. the songs
you’re sharing are confirming that you’ll be ok.
the stories their singing. you’ll learn to praise.
and one day you’ll see, Jesus really saves.

we’re gonna make it.
i just know it.
think and remember
about these times.
and cherish them.
it helps you know
who you are in the end.
how you’re different.
how we are.

too
deep
is never
too
far.

im certain she’s stubborn.
“so am i.” you can explain
how she wont listen to you
so just go on. doing.
what you do.
don’t change.

you know how to get by.
it’s the feelings you get.
on the inside.
her stress doesnt have to
impress your little heart.

be different. love everyone.
no matter what.

start demanding. hard
understanding. take
control of your path.
please don’t hurt yourself
you have so much. in this
life. so much more left.

i know this helps you
when you have doubts.
never hesitate to call me.
i like talking things out.
step back from that knife my friend.
because this life is just beginning.

i love you. all the way through.

grandma

– brianprince

driving down the 133, an internal
announcement skipped, then screamed.
my engine made this unusual rattling sound.
so i turn up the radio. my solution. a fitting
remedy. for the moment.

until the minute
my mechanic
yells at me for not
calling him.

i panicked, “what am i? your bitch?”
his fingernails house grease.
as his arms link with dirty hands.
all mechanics have filthy mouths.

i didn’t really mean it.
anyway
he took it as everyday
language, but

this month i paid his rent.
he fixed my motor mount.
and added a dent.
by accident.

i guess that’s what i get
for throwing a fit.

i called grandma this morning.
just to tell her i loved her
on the answering machine.
i got to explaining how,
now, i know why she always
yelled at me to turn down
the radio.

as i left for the day
heading out the front door.
i noticed
a notice stating.
‘your rent was due
a month before.’

the thought cloud in my head
was dark and heavy
like rain drops dripping
down the window
the fog was lingering
lower than usual.

getting into my dented car
something was disturbing my mind.
swerving.
hitting the curb with my tire.
blurred vision.
everything in me, tired.
listening.
to third eye blind.

get it together, man
wake up and pay attention.

tonight, i was drifting as i was driving.
having fatal thoughts of sui…

it’s raining.
mom called
explaining.
how grandma
just died.