January, 2008

(archives)

state of california

– brianprince

before. during. asleep. intravenous needle. awake. popped out.
vein closed. try another. bad dream. switch arms. your drug.
stronger. smoothie. ginger root. tea.

this is what i felt after being sedated.

laid back. dime sack. hoola hoop. tortilla soup. mesmorized. mind.
over matter. blackened. whiter. teeth. pastry. cookie. color blind.
dancing on tables.

the day after being sedated.

tired of being awake. put me into my dream state. deep into the snuggles.
faceplant. form fitting. to my pillow. peek.
swollen cheeks. dolobid. doses.

permanent.
forever.
fat
face.

tomorrow.

did i mention the hard boiled eggs?
it wasn’t me.

wednesday night

– brianprince

wednesday night blues.

realizing
the time invested. never been
better.

straight
to the point. not knowing my
future.

tonight
dan called. sad. and said there’s no
job for you.

– – – – –
news.

sometimes you get an email. or phone call. and
at the time. it doesn’t mean anything. at all. then
somewhere down the road. in comes the storm.
like you never imagined. kind of blind-sided. and
you realize. what is real. why you’ve gone through.
what you never thought you’d. feel. like you’re moving

slower. without control. and everything is gaining. and
all you have left. is questioning. with messed-up answers.
but you know what you have to do. because of what you’ve
learned the first time. don’t know about you. but anxiety is a
curse of mine. and i’m fine with it. it just hurts sometimes. shit.
everything happens for a reason.

news.
– – – – –

tonight
the questions were lingering
constantly.

straight
to the front of my mind. sitting there
so bluntly.

realizing
there’s a time for
everything.

tuesday night

– brianprince

tuesday night special.

realizing
how natural it is to call
upon a derelict.

straight
scared to confront someone of
higher intellect.

tonight
i called the front desk
for a plunger.

– – – – –
exhausted.

vicodin. heroin.
wednesday night wind.
what’s the difference.
light beer. barf.
a joint. dark beer.
my crutch.

passed out. lights on.
teeth unbrushed.
bacteria fights on.
enV vibrating.
fuck’em. i’m asleep.
i had enough.

exhausted.
– – – – –

tonight
room 323 la quinta inn
and suites.

straight
out of bentonville, arkansas
where?

realizing these
embarrassing moments
in peace.

monday night

– brianprince

monday night football.

realizing
some qualities of my soul i call
a banana split.

straight
up the seventy-one, about
fifty minutes.

tonight
i drove to joplin, missouri
searching for janis.

– – – – –
alone.

it’s not when i’m
in the middle
of the forest
by myself that
i feel isolation.

it’s when i’m
in the middle
of a group
and can’t find
the relation.

alone.
– – – – –

tonight
i felt like some foreign wacked-
out celebrity.

straight
into this bar where every eye
incarcerated me.

realizing
what’s it’s like to sell
my heart.