free standing

where i stand. is not so firm. actually, it’s sinking sand.
constantly concerned. with my salvation. in order
to be free. i need you to pull me. then hold me. and burp me.
cuz this world hurts me. all choked up. tearing. after reading
your words about freedom. everlasting like dreaming.
tears down the back of my throat. but you’re caring.
you’re comforting. with an invitation so welcoming.
i love you. but i hate you. what would i do. without you.

never open my book? never fill the empty pages with your look?
never dream? beyond this reality. never dig deep? like i should.
i’m covered by your inspiration. i’m discovered in your passion. and
it’s confirmation to me. but it’s these feelings. you see. push.

push me.

free is where i’ll go. i’ll tell everyone. about this thing called po’.
and the pen. in my pocket. and the veins. connecting these sockets.
i’ll peel my skin. to reveal what’s within. three-two-one. blast off.
the rocket. is locked. i’m fastened in. the cock pit. talking. on beats.

as i gaze into the haze. of unknown territiory. yet, i’ve made this journey before.
the maze i debated ever taking. the path i feared ever creating. always making more.
do you know who’s lips are in that picture? do you know who ‘let go’ was made for?
i have stories for you. way more confusing than you would understand. why couldn’t
you ignore me. this place you call free. in your land. beautiful views. sight-seeing. scenery.
your voice on the phone. so innocent. so sweet. nothing like channel 5. or in your beats.
bonfires bigger than my apartment. no city water to run. your sewage is on septic. you hear
birds. i hear guns. and firetrucks. while ducks waddle into your ponds. i’m surrounded by court
houses. and shops to buy bail bonds. i’m not free yet. take me by the neck. please. squeeze hard
if you will. i’m a stubborn little boy. with an even stronger will.

what are you doing to me. i dont think you know how extreme.
i can be.
you force me to cus.
you’re forcing me to love.

have you ever
lied. cheated. or stolen.
tried. were thinking. or have known.
what rights. need to be. broken.

i do now.

i’m traveling through the mojave desert. passing through vegas. up to salt lake. and over glen canyon. into grand junction. a land i’ve never been in. breezed through denver. this freight train makes me slumber. with ease. i’m at peace. on this bumpy but smooth ride. passing covered wagons and cowboys in rawhide. nebraska. and iowa. aurora. just outside chicago. south bend. lake erie. im so close can you see me? i have to stop in rochester new york and say hi to my folks family. then in rome to write a woodstock poem. adirondack park. i cant even prenounce that part. moving on to springfield. then new hampshire. and finally the place i have to. be. go. stay. know. farthest east. i’ll ever explore. and really be happy.

i can finally say hi.
say hi to free.