lamentation

too much
too fast
too far

i’m sorry.

too comfortable:
toes in your soul
sitting on the rock
grooved perfect for my bottom,
watching you slowly
revolve around father light.
oh, grandfather sky.
it was like the eternal
Corona commercial
but with tomatoes
growing to my left,
potatoes growing
to my right.
citrus in the
distance.

then things went
way wrong.
the portal opened
too much
too fast
too far

i’m so sorry.

i ground the rock
and made a new foundation,
while framing came from cutting
my ancestors down. now dwelling
in my own plan – all boxed in –
running too fast to understand the exploitation of precious minerals.
asking questions to seek answers that only you and the cosmos know.

who am i
but the man
who moved
too much too fast too far
i am so so sorry.

then the lights went out.
(and as per my own previous instruction)
let everything go.

in the darkness i face the nephesh state.
where only some things familiar
could be found. through the hevel, i was told to:
be here now.

the sparrow’s might was forgotten,
all those beak holes poked in the night sky
were closing – one by one – and the new moon
erased where it had escaped.
the sun stopped kissing me.
reduced to words and emojis.
face only glowing from RGB screen.
longing the old reality.

from the clubhouse
to the cosmos in a
ten-week solstice.

you are humanity’s muse. you were the receiving end of my too much too fast too far. my bliss. my complications. my way of living. an old soul and his temporal excavations: the discovery of death-as-illusion. i’m so sorry.

and now it’s
tuesday morning
with nothing but,
well, nothing
but
this
lamentation.