author of salvation

what
have
i got
to
lose?

i found answers
about eternity. heaven. and the truth.
i consulted the only
man on the planet who claimed to be
there. (period).

he wrote
in red. i believe what he said.
his answers
make sense. it’s clear. no more
guessing. no more messing with trusting myself. or others as faulty as me.

reading my journals is death to the soul. i write in black and sometimes pencil.
my life.
my actions. my rights. and wrong. doings. everything i am. is way too temporal.
time to change. spew out the good name. truth to proclaim. no more ass-backwards.
absurd. made-up. pulp. horse-pulling reins.

i’ve come to the conclusion.
everyone
wants to live longer (period). just as the person
who’s nose is plastic. tummy tuck (comma). vitamin sucker.
jesus breaks the law of religion. why not give my life to him.

what have i got to lose. (question mark).

if he’s wrong. then i just die a good man. respected. in regards
to my time on this land. loving everyone. according to the will of more than a man. and…

well, if he’s right. he’s right! and i get all of the pie. to live in eternity. have a peace
that only an old jewish man can comprehend. shalom.

what’s so wrong with doing the best that i can. without bad-mouthing those who try. those
who believe. with hope beyond what their own eyes see.
the best that i can.
to love. everyone. even if it offends their pride. i’ve come to find how seriously easy
it is to believe in someone with such influence.

i hope im not preaching. but counting. i know it’s not easy. doubting. but,
what have i got to lose. (exclamation point).